Loneliness has it's grip on me, as the shadow of fear takes captive of my heart. The day and month of my birth, no one remembers, and how I wish I have forgotten it just the same. My life seems to me a blur and only the grey of loneliness shows it's vivid existence.
Friendships come and go but none show intent to continue it with me though. This is why I hate shallow talk, for I know in the end we will surely part. And the time and joy invested will surely become a heartfelt pain and despairing sentiment. How then does one maintain their friendships? Does one just move on and forget or do they just live in the moment and leave no regrets?
It seems to me like trust is something that I vaguely understand. No matter how I show mine to others, others won't seem to show theirs back. Try as I might, but trust still eludes me, never able to grab hold of it, like a fading dream whenever one's waking.
All my life I played a back stage role, to support others with kindness that no one seems to know. As I see them shine and happiness brought forth in their smiles, how I wish I could gain the same just like them as well. But I am content with just these few. Though deep inside, I wish they would just remember, the things that I have done and labored, in their favor. Guess my actions we're too little to see, and too small to be noticed. So how then shall I gain contentment and gladness?
No one understands my fears and sadness, but only me and my Creator know my resentment. So hear me Oh Lord, I only ask you this, to help me forgive and forget this dreadful indignation.
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