Who Am I?

Who am I? A question in itself both profound and mysterious. If I were to say that I am Jason. That would be just my name. If I were to say I am a student. That would be just my current occupation. Though unlike occupation that keeps changing, names are constant and forever a part of you. However, names are shared, there would be thousands of people around the world with the same name as me. So then, does my name even define me?

As I continue to search for the answer through all corners of my life, looking at one identity to the next. From a loving son, to a kind friend, to an academic achiever, to an isolated loner. Still all these things cannot define me, as they won't stay consistent forever. As a son, I would bound to lose my parents. As a friend, I would bound to separate from my dear friends. As an academic achiever, I would bound to be forgotten. As an isolated loner, I yearn to escape it, to find someone who I can share my life with.

No matter how it seems to define me at that moment of my life, that identity would seem to be forgotten and lost as I move on to the next phase of life. So what really defines me?

The current trend of thought suggest that me, myself define who I am, that I determine who I am at that moment in time. My character exist because I choose for it to exist, to be part of me. Then, wouldn't that be narcissistic? Where the self determine what identity is right, what character should be portrayed, what principles should be adhered to. Yes, we do have the autonomy to do so, but free will without morals will be fundamentally flawed. Furthermore, will the self stand the test of time, even after death?

So what then, can define my identity, an identity that can be consistent in whatever situations, an identity that will last, an identity that in itself is good, good for me and for those around me. The only identity that I can turn to so far, is my identity in Christ, as a child of God, so loved and so cared for, that the price for it was so great, that death was the price to pay. The death of someone, who by right was above us all, but brought low so that we might know love, an unselfish and Godly love.

As a child of God, I will have hope in the future, where my life would be guided and carried by God even after death. As a child of God, I will know that I am loved, in every situations and that love compels me to love those around me in the same way. As a child of God, I will have the security that no matter how lonely or dire the situation is, I will not be abandoned. As a child of God, morality is not something complied to for the sake of good and salvation, but as an act to show love, a Godly love.

Having said so much, there would be an underlying question some would like to ask. How can you be so sure that you are loved by God? Haven't you seen the things happening around you and more importantly to you, how can you called that love? Even I question them sometimes. So, how can I be sure? Well, I don't have any evidence for it. My life so far seems like a chaotic storm, sometimes it does calm down, but just only to be stirred up again. I can only say that I have faith, faith that He is there beside me, guiding me and loving me. Though, I may not see it yet, but I know the things that I have went through was all according to his purpose. And as I continue on with my life, I should try in every situation not to forsake God just the same as He would not forsake me.